Here's a picture of my little Lone Ranger to go along with my thoughts. This is my eldest who has to deal with most of our parenting mistakes, because... well, he's the oldest. Poor guy.
Anyway, here's what I said then and am saying again now. :)
I am terrified to be in charge of teaching and training my children. That feeling is probably healthy considering it makes a parent very careful about how their children are raised. I desire for my children to have a heart for God. To make Him the central focus in everything they will ever do for the rest of their lives. I want them to know the scriptures inside and out. I want them to live out what the scriptures say with confidence. To have such faith in their God that they will obey Him without question, at any cost.
Many people think I go a little overboard on some issues. But what others thought and believed won't matter in a thousand years. Let them think what they will. I have more important things to be attending to. I want to please God. What will matter for all the rest of eternity is whether we raised our children to glorify God or not. That is the issue.
This terrifies me because I have had yet another realization of what this truly means. It calls for much on my part. It is a huge order. I have begun to ask the Lord each day to put in me the desire that he wants a mother to have. When you ask a question like this of God you have to be ready to get your answer and work hard.
Each day I noticed more and more the things that I had been missing out on before. All those missed opportunities to help mold and shape their little hearts to be open to the things of God. Chances to give a verse and teach them true wisdom. Chances to get involved in their lives on a deeper level. Chances to gain their affection and trust. Chances to point them to Christ.
Though some may think that sheltering my children from many outside influences such as reading material, movies, even other children, is actually going to work against what I want to accomplish, I stand firm on my convictions. The stakes are too high. Why would I want to mar their chances of purity at such a young and impressionable age? I definitely want them to be able to live as 'wise as serpents' in this evil world, but they are in training session right now.
A wise mother watches for glimpses into their child's soul each day. From that you gain an understanding of where they are spiritually and what they can handle and where they need further training.
I am thankful for mothers who have gone before that we can gain wisdom from. I watch them and learn. Sometimes I learn what I need to do and from others I learn what not to do. Either way, I am thankful for their examples.
This past week I realized that I just wasn't getting the 'mother' thing and started with a simple prayer. "Lord, help me know what I am supposed to do as a mother." But a simple prayer like this forces you on your knees more and more as you realize how inadequate you are for the job God has called you to. You also get excited to see results that only He can make happen.
It really is amazing what you learn and how much you can grow in a short time when you stay home and start pouring your heart into what counts.
1 comment:
I'm right there with you. I was talking to a friend the other day and we were discussing James 1:5 about asking God for wisdom. I feel so desperate for it lately (we both do). Good thing God only gives me a little at a time for now. I don't know if I can handle too much at once!
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